A peek inside a closed book

Right, let's get cranking again. After the Manchester trip, 'twas time for me to go back to India for a summer internship and so right now I'm blogging from New Delhi again. Good ol' Delhi; the moment I stepped out of the terminal, I got that feeling I get every time I come to this place - it's hard to explain but it's like the city has a heart of its own unrelentingly thumping away oblivious to the plights of its array of inhabitants and travelers. I once was the former, I now am the latter. It's been a lil' over a year since I left but I already feel like...an outsider, a visitor, an observer perhaps. Many a times this vibrant city was the theme of my nostalgia but after a mere 2 weeks' stay, all I want to do is get out. Well yeah, the weather's cruelty is an added reason to flee - mind!

Writer's block after one paragraph, the heat must really be getting to me! >_<

Nonetheless, I'll push on. At least that's one new thing I've learned these past few weeks; thanks P for that, you and your weird contradicting mind.

Although everyone keeps telling me I'm still young and that I have the time and capabilities to do whatever I want to do in life, believe me it's no walk in the park trying to believe in myself while all I do is fall short in my aspirations. 'Smiling for the world to see, while a saddened subdued soul lurks in darkness inside.' It's not like I broke down and went all depression-like on my worldviews, let's just say it was a very low point in my life which usually don't happen. Period. I do have occasional moody moments, but they go away easily enough. This time's a lil' bit different; I have my few close friends to thank for their ever staunch belief in me, and my parents for their unwitting support and larger-than-life love for me.

(I have this habit of telling my friends that my parents are 'cool' and they really are! Not in that punked sort or so-called attitude wielding or the materialistic cool sense the contemporary culture has associated it with. I meant the understanding, open and broad-mindedness they've always shown towards me no matter what idiosyncrasies my peculiarity plants in my head; I thankfully couldn't ask for better parents.)

Anyway, getting back to what I was talking about, I've had had a lot of self-realisation after a long long reflection plus making a Balance Sheet of myself. I still don't know what I wanna do with my life but it helped, trust me; gave me perspective of where I'm standing at present, if I really want to be in this rat-race of a business world after all and most importantly, where I'd like to be 3-5 years from now. I need some more time to figure this last one out, so stay tuned :)

While my head was blowing up in jumbles of confusing thoughts punctuated by debates with my-altered-ego/myself, I did find some time to enjoy my old city albeit I found out nothing much has changed. For one, mosquitoes continue to leave marks on my now scar-free-legs!

I've never had big or minor accidents in all the years I stayed in New Delhi, but this time it welcomed me in a way worthy of its twisted sense of humour. I was travelling in one of those rickety rickshaws to work (the internship); I use them a lot because they're cheap and kind of fun. I've loved them since I was 2 years old! Apprehensive though I was since the path was uneven and muddy, I didn't protest when the driver took a short cut. I remember it happening like a slow-motion of some sort ditto in the movies - the rickshaw tipped over on its side; I promptly fell down on the road and ended up reaching the office covered in mud!! I was ever so grateful right there that India isn't so developed as to put cameras in every nook and cranny.

I don't want strange things happening to me anymore but I'm guessing a lot more surprises await me during my stay here so it probably wouldn't hurt to ready myself - mentally prepared reinforced with positive attitude! Bring it on!! :D