Writer's block after one paragraph, the heat must really be getting to me! >_<
Nonetheless, I'll push on. At least that's one new thing I've learned these past few weeks; thanks P for that, you and your weird contradicting mind.
Although everyone keeps telling me I'm still young and that I have the time and capabilities to do whatever I want to do in life, believe me it's no walk in the park trying to believe in myself while all I do is fall short in my aspirations. 'Smiling for the world to see, while a saddened subdued soul lurks in darkness inside.' It's not like I broke down and went all depression-like on my worldviews, let's just say it was a very low point in my life which usually don't happen. Period. I do have occasional moody moments, but they go away easily enough. This time's a lil' bit different; I have my few close friends to thank for their ever staunch belief in me, and my parents for their unwitting support and larger-than-life love for me.
(I have this habit of telling my friends that my parents are 'cool' and they really are! Not in that punked sort or so-called attitude wielding or the materialistic cool sense the contemporary culture has associated it with. I meant the understanding, open and broad-mindedness they've always shown towards me no matter what idiosyncrasies my peculiarity plants in my head; I thankfully couldn't ask for better parents.)
Anyway, getting back to what I was talking about, I've had had a lot of self-realisation after a long long reflection plus making a Balance Sheet of myself. I still don't know what I wanna do with my life but it helped, trust me; gave me perspective of where I'm standing at present, if I really want to be in this rat-race of a business world after all and most importantly, where I'd like to be 3-5 years from now. I need some more time to figure this last one out, so stay tuned :)
While my head was blowing up in jumbles of confusing thoughts punctuated by debates with my-altered-ego/myself, I did find some time to enjoy my old city albeit I found out nothing much has changed. For one, mosquitoes continue to leave marks on my now scar-free-legs!
I've never had big or minor accidents in all the years I stayed in New Delhi, but this time it welcomed me in a way worthy of its twisted sense of humour. I was travelling in one of those rickety rickshaws to work (the internship); I use them a lot because they're cheap and kind of fun. I've loved them since I was 2 years old! Apprehensive though I was since the path was uneven and muddy, I didn't protest when the driver took a short cut. I remember it happening like a slow-motion of some sort ditto in the movies - the rickshaw tipped over on its side; I promptly fell down on the road and ended up reaching the office covered in mud!! I was ever so grateful right there that India isn't so developed as to put cameras in every nook and cranny.
I don't want strange things happening to me anymore but I'm guessing a lot more surprises await me during my stay here so it probably wouldn't hurt to ready myself - mentally prepared reinforced with positive attitude! Bring it on!! :D
