A conviction

I just had an epiphany that I am alone,

In the wild probably but

more so in the heart of this city. 

John Mayer's Wembley Arena Setlist

Queen of California

Wildfire

Slow dancing in a burning room

Waiting on the day

Speak for me

No such thing

The breeze

Don't trust myself with loving you

I'm on fire

Stop this train

Half of my heart

Something like Olivia

I will be found

Paperdoll

Who says

Vultures

Age of worry

Gravity

Walt Grace's submarine test, 1967

Dear Marie

He loves my reading

He understands, oh he does understand. 

One of those happy rare moments I shall embalm. 

The mind heralds.

The heart can hurt

The heart hurts for it has been scorned. As always. The heart is now cascaded with poison-laced liquid overflowing the chambers.

Mistakes

Even if you love someone with all your heart you can still make mistakes. Maybe there was something missing in her life, maybe she was trying to find herself, maybe she had to be sure she loved him. 

Mistakes can mean nothing; sometimes mistakes can be about wanting more attention, feeling inadeqaute, and sometimes has nothing to do with their significant other.

Mistakes can change your life for the better if it makes you realise something you never knew before, a big life changing event like, wholly loving someone like you've never done before or thought you were incapable of doing. 

I rest my case.

Past midnight

Past midnight. A rain storm outside punctured by the noise from a police car siren. A sad ending of a phone call leaves me awake. 

My mind's drowsy and I want to fall asleep but I keep replaying our convo; I have work tomorrow. 

All I wanted was to be cared for obligingly with the only reason being I wanted it,

and not be embarrassed by a refusal when I shamelessly ask for the above and tonight,

I so wanted to bathe in the warmth of an obliging love.

I hate him. 

Scotland

Back in 2012, content in its own hum our car moved on. The road ran straight and fast among the wild greens in the land of Scots far up north. The stretch of grass was endless punctuated only at random intervals by thick bushes of trees. It was May, almost summertime in Scotland; the air was warm and it was a day of rare sunshine.

I have had thoughts of Scotland to be that distant far-off place while although charming, would give off a medieval sort of eeriness. And you’d think that the countryside would be dreary with rock fences, drenched in rain, grey clouds and gloomy weather but no, I was awed into submission; my senses trying to take in every little detail of the raw beauty surrounding us. The road went up small hills where the slopes are thickly painted with yellow flowers and then, downhill again as the plethora changes into thick green mosses and the scenery giving way to hundreds of large white windmills on the horizon twirling away lazily as we inched closer and closer.

I was truly glad we opted for the road trip rather than taking the train/coach up to Edinburgh; heaven forbid my being bereft of this sight! *chuckles*