Scribbles

[Written in a span of two weeks; I took long breaks!]

March 18
I hate being in love with you
It’s a torture I have to endure
But please my love
Make it all worthwhile for me in the end
Cause I can’t seem to let go
But then again
You’ve always been horrible
Playing the role of being my man

March 27
I'm just really tired right now
All the disappointments and no-shows
Keep hitting back though I try to block it
They still hurt fresh as the day 'twas inflicted
I push you to be better but then again
Should I be doing that unrequited?
A one-sided motivating force
That won't work and it clearly isn't

March 28
I'm on the verge of surfacing
Breaking free from the chains, waking up from slumber
Thoughts of a free life which were long gone
Fill my mind incessantly
I’ve had enough of always being the stronger one
Cause I can't seem to breathe, I'm trying to fly
But it's hard after so many years
Leaning against you or was it you against me?

March 30
I gave you so many chances, too many last chances
It’s too late now to change, too late to make me proud
No more work-in-progresses again
This will be the last time you hurt me
I’m taking over my heart now
And never again will I let love win me over
It will hurt to be alone but its better
Than getting hurt endlessly over and over

A brief day in London

I went for a brief visit to London yesterday [14th March 2011]. I had to meet someone so I went from Sheffield in the morning and got back the same night; very tiring I assure you. It was my first time and I was pretty excited. But it's a shame I stayed for only 6 hours and I really didn't have time to go sight-seeing; I barely managed Buckingham Palace and the high streets-Piccadilly, Regent, Oxford, Charing Cross, etc. And no, I did not buy anything! I'm a total miser in UK haha.

Well, maybe not anything cause I did bought a souvenir for myself since I make it a point to buy one whenever I visit a new place [I did it for Dubai too]

PS::::Don't blame me that he supports

Liverpool; doesn't mean I do!

So anyway I had fun, and I got to see a new place which is always exciting, for me at least, cause I love travelling! It was great I finally got to see London, I felt lucky.

When I survey the wondrous cross -Isaac Watts

We sang this hymn as one of many hymns today at church,

and it touched me even though I've sung it many times before.

So I wanted to share it here.

When I survey the wondrous cross,
on which the Prince of glory died,
my richest gain I count but loss,
and pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
save in the death of Christ my God;
all the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to his blood.

See from his head, his hands, his feet,
sorrow and love flow mingled down;
did e'er such love and sorrow meet,
or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were an offering far too small;
love so amazing, so divine,
demands my soul, my life, my all.

-Isaac Watts, 1674-1748

You never understand, do you?

I keep my mouth shut whenever you fill my mind
I keep quiet when you're overwhelming my heart

pessimistic much

Does it even really matter how much I try to succeed. Does it help that I try to give meaning to my existence. Should I be worrying so much or should I just let it go. All the anxieties I’ve fostered, it doesn’t conform with what’s eventually bound to happen - death; the end of everything. So why do I always try so hard or struggle too much, when I ought to just let go.

*Praying!!!*